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If I am going, to be honest, this class wasn't something that I was excited to take, I remember just wanting to avoid nonfiction reading as much as possible and this was a way to do that. But I also remember that drive to see what I was capable of, to see how I could destroy the path that had been laid before me, how I could disrupt the system that came along with being a trilogy at a private school in Cheshire Connecticut. I gave up everything to come here, and most days it felt worthless, it felt like I was losing everything all my friends all the activities that I had enjoyed and it felt like I was continuing the loop of my family. I remember coign into this class and all of us sitting in a circle, we talked about where we were in our comfort levels. I thought that I would never be able to do anything crazy in this class, that there wasn't going to be a moment in which I would be able to shine. Then I did my fences monologue. I hadn't practiced it to the level of my performance and I never really do that with my acting, I practice quietly and small until I get onto the stage, I think that’s the part of me that is afraid, that still is afraid. That part of me that feels the judgment and fear, the one that cries before nearly every performance. I still am that person. But it doesn't matter because in this class I learned a lot about theater and arts, I learned what I loved about it and what I hated. I learned that theater isn't something that I would be able to do in life. Through this class I learned a lot about being a role model and when to grit my teeth. I have learned to be a better viewer and learned techniques that I see on stage to make me a better actor. I have improved my memorization skills by needing to learn lines. I’ve learned how to analyze theatrical performances and the importance of all roles in pieces as well. Honestly, I grew to live to perform even though it is something that I am very self-conscious about, and I don't think that ill ever changes for me. I’ve learned about the difficulties fo theater and the frustrations that come along with the inequality and harshness of the subject. I don’t think that I will do much theater in college and none outside of college, as much as I enjoy being onstage and performance solo, and its something that I want to continue to do, I feel as though it just isn't for me. Looking back I have the same fears and a few more now. I believe that theater has helped and hurt me in my experience with it but I am grateful for all the experiences that I have had so that I know what I will do later on in life. Overall, this class has taught me a lot about the theater industry and what it takes to be an actor as well as an audience member, and a technician behind the scenes. I have learned a lot about the arts as well and learned about my own limits within the arts and what I will do for the rest of my life when looking at the arts and theater. Undoubtedly I have gained lost of great memories, and life lessons through our class and am learning glad that I took Literature and Performance over any other class. Even though theater hasn’t worked out for me and I still have the same fears I think that I know how to manage them even though they are still there.